About Me:

I came to Jesus when I was raised in a "christian home". My mom married my dad to basically get out of her parents' house but never really loved him. My dad always adored her. I went to a christian school and I personally loved God a lot so I also went to school during holidays bc they had bibleschool there and many many kids came. I highly doubt that every kid there was a christian (maybe they came for the colouring and free cookies lol). So as time went by, my mother started to abuse my father more and more, verbally with bad words, which me and my younger sister ( 2 yrs younger) got used to. So we started to copy her behaviour and started to call our dad names and put him down all the time. He was not as strong as my mother, who was more charismatic so we hurt him a lot and he didn't know how to respond. At the time bc of the bad things my mother used to say to us to put him down we thought she was right. One day I felt so bad about it I decided to say sorry to him and to stop putting him down like that. He got very emotional and I think he cried and said thank you. After me, my sister also quit doing that and later on my mother also quit. I decided to be a good person and prayed to God. God held me but the years to come were horrible. In school the kids pestered me a lot bc there was a girl in my class who lived in our street and they weren't christians and she thought we were huge hypocrites (since "all christians r hypocrites who play nice but inside ...??!). Almost all of my life my mom put me down right with my father and reminded me constantly how much I look like this idiotic man. I really loved her a lot but couldn't handle the abuse she put me through so I developed ocd. That's when she started telling everyone I had gone crazy. She told everybody at work so many things about us that one day they all gathered to just tell her enough is enough and she should keep personal things to herself. So in my town my reputation was destroyed. I became so insecure, almost lost my mind. But God was always there to protect my interest and to provide a way out when there was trouble. So I realised that God was my Only Real Friend on this entire planet and that He'd always be there. After school failed and I also did many things that were not pleasing to God since I was so hungry for love. But through everything God showed me He could pick me up from any pit, any kind of darkness. I also got involved with astrology thinking it was some kind of hidden knowledge I needed to know about. NOT !! So as I was reading books about it, learning how to use the "power of gems" etc a Jehova's Witness came to my house and showed me in the bible where it says that that was a kind of "magic" and NOT of God. That God was against it. After that conversation I threw away all my gems and the books. Also broke up with the man I was with (he later got a new gf and had 4 kids with her, then left her !!). I moved, and met some christians and started to evangelise with them on the streets in our city. I felt the power of God on me and was very happy to get so much confirmation. Later I quit bc there was a girl who wasn't happy with the way I talked to people, which was not very conventional like she was used to. She made me feel so uneasy about myself I felt so hurt that I eventually quit. Then came a time of great loneliness in which God taught me more about the bible and love in general. Love is worth everything.. And God loves with a love so strong that we cannot imagine, so eternal that we cannot comprehend. And God is the Only One we can rely on. We cannot rely on our own "wisdom", you'll find out why sooner or later that that's not going to work. And we cannot rely on our own strength, certainly not me. I got so hurt by the ones I loved most. First my best friend who one day went to a much higher school than I was going and she just said ok that's it. Then my mom who abused me so much mentally and emotionally that I got so depressed that I dreamt of suicide many times. Then fell in love with someone who just broke my heart. (now he looks for me lolol). Then years later I lost the job I loved. And not too long after, the man I loved and who loved me back in return SO MUCH..died of a heartattack. He had kidneycancer. Yet, my God has comforted me like no other. And also the people in my church.. they are wonderful people. They kept on holding me and hugging me and letting me cry my eyes out over and over until I stopped crying. They prayed for me and tried to cheer me up. SIMPLY WONDERFUL ! See what God can do for a person ??



THANK YOU GOD FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME, FOR BEING HOLY AND FOR LOVING EVERY HUMAN BEING,

IN JESUS NAME, AMEN.



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