2012 - March / 02 -







We live in a dualistic world where spiritual and material are the opposites of each other. The spirit struggles to break through the fabric of the world. It is a FIGHT. This fight is inevitably necessary to penetrate the material resistance. Fight is the way to conquer the reluctance of the material. We talk about peace forgetting that it is a wild ride since different levels/layers of (self-) consciousness must be overcome until the Spirit transcends the resistence of physical world to merge in ONENESS. Peace can't be achieved in the World of Duality. The consequence of this fight between "Heaven and Earth" is that everything is symbolic. Ignorance is black, Spirit Light is bright, as Darkness is the opposite of Knowledge. The symbolic power of KNOWLEDGE is like the GOLDEN LIGHT of Sacred Power called God.

Fight is the price of Peace.



Feb / 22 -







It is what I wrote Christo six days ago but later I deleted:



"Today I say GOoD Bye to Christo4Bless, jesus999, GraceOfGod, Ascension, Eskimo, United, jesuslovesyouso, EchoesOfEternity, Lord Sananda and aliases(...), to all the whole HolyMoly GoldRing Game-players of Heavenly Cirque du Soleil. The time has come to get FREE from the slavery of salvation. There is an Union Station in every country on the globe - there must also be a Universal Union Station in this newly grounded Graceland of Galactic Godhunting.... See you there... The love in my heart for you is untouchable, my beloved Soulbrother... but FREEDOM IS CALLING ME TO BECOME TOTALLY UNATTACHED...



Salvation can't be delivered by Christs who are afraid of being crucified.



Time for a gentle farewell...



Christo, my Beloved, so long... I send you a last tender HanUMAN-hug. (((♥)))

Sorella Soul"







I AM FREE LIKE WILD HORSES RUNNING WITH THE WIND.

Christo's real name is unknown to me. I simply call him my Soulbrother. He did everything upon his sacred God-inspired discretion. He is a GOoD man... a human. I can't be faithless to such a G☼☼D soul after fate brought us together. "We have a bond" as you once wrote, Christo. You are part of my fate and will remain part of it forever. But it is different now... A+man.......



2011 - Oct / 30 -







This weekend we remember our dead loved ones in Hungary. No celebration of Halloween but the Feast of All Souls, visiting the cemeteries with chrysanths to place them on the graves and to light candles for our beloveds to help them see in the dark night of the soul... This weekend we celebrate LOVE which is neither "unconditional" nor "unattached" but REAL though imperfect, ascending the vibrations of our hearts into heaven-on-earth... without slogans... It is the way humans can and want to be loved. Because we are Humans whose "HOME" is this Earth...



Oct / 27 -



ALL OR NONE! ALL-IN-ONE!!!







Oct / 24 -







Bond 4ever? Nest of Love to rest in God? Can Jesus - who was deluded by the belief that his Father rescues him - save us? Jesus complied with the divine demand, yet he was sacrificed by God - "for us"... Jesus' Story suggests the conclusion opposite to what the gospel engraved into our mind... Jesus had ABSOLUTE faith in and obedience to his Father but he was "abandoned, forsaken". YES, HE WAS... "Thy will be done"...?! Well... what else could he say... Now what do we pray for? WHY do we pray at all?! God's Will - the He/She/It/Mother/Father/etc-In-Holy-Union's Will - shall be done anyway. Thus we can relax and try to imagine what the galactic (con)federation of light's hangar might look like where Sanada's silver spaceship is housed. The only hint I have: the closer we get, the louder we can hear "(((Angels sing)))".....

The dogma of Bible is followed with a new (make-)belief system asking us to give away our freedom to the Heavenly Crew of Galactic Lords, Ladies, Gods, Goddesses... To the whole "Spiritual Hierarchy"... If someone is too curious, having bald questions or entertaining doubts, s/he is doomed - it doesn't matter whether or not s/he has a loving, compassionate soul - what matters is OBEDIENCE and maybe a good singing voice is an asset... Dogmas dislike the obduracy of free spirit. Feigned faith hates to be questioned. As ducks are forcefully fed with corn to grow juicy liver, our MIND is stuffed with manipulations until it is distracted, seduced or hypnotized to believe nonsense. I can hear the clank of chains... Eternal Bond of Souls? Unconditional Love? The story is about something else...



There is a Star-War for "harvesting of the Lighted souls"...



BEING GOOD, LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, NATURAL, BEING THE BEST OF OURSELVES → WILL THE ESSENCE OF GOODNESS EVER COME INTO FASHION!???!!! TO BECOME FREE, it is what "Heaven-on-Earth" should really mean! UNTIL WE HAVE FEAR, WE ARE NOT FREE. But as Mooji said once: "Nobody wants you to be free"...



Oct / 23 -







Oct / 12 -





Being tired and going into Dreamland...



DAL, ÉNEK, NÓTA, SANZON = Song ♫



ÁLOM, ÁBRÁND, LÁTOMÁS, TÜNEMÉNY = Vision ☼



I'm a brave little Brigster-Toaster who keeps holding on - as I believe that at the end of the day we all will be found...



Lalala - lullaby... May we sleep well!

Toodle-oo tomorrow.....



Aug / 16 -







All religions fishing for souls to "convert" them are guilty in pride and arrogance, childishly boasting about "their God" who is "better" than "other Gods" = the "Gods of others". But the ONE and INDIVISIBLE Highest Source is far above all churches, religions, human-made doctrines and dogmas.



If I met a person who belongs to the Bantu religion, I could still understand and accept him/her - after all we both are HUMANS and that's enough for me to be able to honour anyone else. Religion and God cannot be the killers of our natural compassion and understanding toward one another because if they don't do any good but divide us, I'd rather choose humans ----- and would LOVE my neighbours like myself... as Jesus taught...







Aug / 3 -



My true faith is in HUMANITY... Jesus was crucified for us "for God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son" for our eternal soul... But how much Jesus must have loved us, fallible humans that accepting his fate, He walked to the Cross of His sacred slaughter without resisting the evil... He didn't have to resist: JESUS HIMSELF WAS and STILL IS THE LIVING RESISTANCE, THE PERMANENT REVOLUTION OF INTEGRITY and INNOCENCE. Jesus is with us even now, "in the midst" of the storm between Evil and GOoD... He knew that "Good" is not the same as "Christian", and "Evil" doesn't equal non-Christian. There is no Salvation if only one person is left out.



July / 21 -



Angelic sleep in the Nest on the Tree of Life... In the PRESENCE of JESUS... He was present because I WAS PRESENT!... GraceOfGod was right when he wrote me on New Years Eve:



"My friend,... remember and have the firm conviction, that God is in you, with you, around you, behind you. When you strongly believe this, you become divine, you will realise that you are divine, have ever been divine, will ever be divine. Never entertain the thought that you are separate from God. I love you my friend. Amen"



Thank you, my holy friend who taught me that I am PRECIOUS, for saying so many times that you love me... These three words are the incantation of Soul-Healing and Spiritual Resurrection. Has it not been for you, I could've been easily strangled by the crisis I went through last week but instead it made me even stronger than before, surrounded by your words. I returned from the MINDfield of soul-theft = the minefield of death with rich finding - but now I have to do my shopping... I will do it with GRACE, gratefully guarding the treasure in me... Lo, I am a millionaire!!! Psssst.... See you later alligator.... Toodle-do!



HIT THE ROAD BRIG!





....................................................................to be continued....



continued from this morning:



The age of artificial beings with plastic souls is right here! Lies, deceptions, misconduct, soul stealing, spiritual miscarriages of pure ideas, masked with transparency and honesty. As if they parachuted from the sky or crawled from the black holes like demonic worms, ascending from the underground of the terrestrial world. They are busy with instructing others what-how-when-why to do. It looks like a "game" but actually it is a deadly challenge for those whose soul refused that "the end justifies the means". Now we feel forsaken and abandoned, more than Jesus in the Gethsemane Garden. This atomic aloneness remains our lifestyle until oneness will erase it with the predators among us. A legion of ascended masters, enlightened teachers play us the Son of Man as if they knew God better than He knows Himself. These ghosts of incarnations and avatars, like the blood-sucker Dracula of Transylvania, feed themselves with human faith to become "fleshy" in order to control others.



When I think of the big business of sci-fie, the armada of movies and books written on the New Paradigm of human life, it looks like we created these monsters which grew too big to get rid of them. God has been shrinking in this lava spill, burning to ashes soon if humans don't stop to sign up for these entities who want exclusively hold possession of them. Oneness?!... The danger is extremely high that humankind will soon be frittered away - unless we find the exit door to leave this self-created world of nightmares like Jim Carrey did at the end of the movie called Truman-story...



May / 18-







Questioner: "How are we to treat others?"

Ramana Maharshi: "There are no others."



***



"They say that I am dying. But I am not going away! Where could I go? I am here!" (Maharshi,1950)







Apr / 30-







Humility, gratitude, grace, bliss, faith... HUMBLENESS... yet I have to trust myself... as this self is g(r)o(w)ing to be the Seat of God... Whatever I write or think, I wish to delete the next minute but I need to stop it. I let myself make mistake, otherwise I don't get anywhere. God BLESS the GRACE I received on my journey! I humbly wish it continued... Too many things happening all at once... Holy Love, keep me strong, hold me tight!!!



Apr / 19 -







Something extraordinary is happening to me. I can't say no more, I only acknowledge it. There are more and more signs of a groundbreaking inner change. I found out here, on Prayabout that I am the "ashram" - the ashram is ME! I am PRESENT in the PRESENT without yearning to be anywhere else. I handle my Self with respect, I built my boundaries finding the source of my strength in the SOUL of souls. I cry with gratitude, not for the presents I have been granted, but - how laconic and inventive English language is! - for my true present which is: to be PRESENT! It is because I am free now! I AM FREE, I AM FREE, FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM about to start... BEING ME...







Apr / 7 - Love, only Love!!! Oh happy day, I am growing,

my heart is glowing!!! So many things to say but today I just rejoice

in love and happiness! My soul is in the sky!!!







Apr / 3 -







✿⊱╮Nothing can block the FLOW,,,,,, I am a FlowER,,,,,,, ✿⊱╮We are all FLOWers, being able to let love flow through our holy wholeness while our sacred self is fluently shared with the world. Only by seeking WHOLENESS can we reach HOLINESS. When it is reached, the meaning of "LOVE" changes profoundly. LOVE is not particular, secular, partial, personal any more but an all-embracing, all-encompassing 'anti-sentiment', free of the sticky sugary sweetness what makes ordinary love so pitiful sometimes.



SAND-MANDALA ↓,,,, Love is both: the sand and the wind - they hold each other tight while flying,,,,,



,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,♥*^}{^*♥*^}{^*♥*

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True love is always the same regardless of the person whose heart holds it, regardless of the person to whom it is dedicated. True love is the Love of ONE = the Love of ALL.







March / 10 - People who strive for a highly spiritual life, by no chance live in monasteries, ashrams, choose priesthood or just turn their back to the secular world and hide in the wilderness, away from everyone to live a secluded life in order to dedicate all of their senses, thoughts, emotional, mental and spiritual abilities to the Truth of Essence ↔ the Essence of Truth. I try to follow - NO, I FOLLOW!! - the strictest rules a layperson can undertake but this volunteer choice, considering my extremely difficult situation (no job, mortgage loan on my house) imposes an almost unbearable burden on me. But I am not willing to give up. Though my belief is very different from the beliefs of most religious people on this site - and it may be peculiar outside of this site as well - my faith is deep and I have a GOoD, godly reason to believe in the Highest Spiritual Entity the way I do.

Every day I find many pages on the web about mind-power enhancing "gurus" trying to sell their "new age"-knowledge or eclectic felicific mind-products to the other part of the population interested in buying it. In addition there are prayer sites like ours where people want to GAIN favour, to GET reward from God, in exchange for their faith. They use a variety of tools from "p.u.s.h."-ing God to "deliver" to trying to manipulate Him in more subtle ways like with an enthusiastic thanksgiving-eruption ("thank you God I already received it, thank you thank you") when nothing really changed at all or everything became even worse than before... Of course each standpoint can be supported by dozens of biblical quotations... pro and contra... The path I walk is different and doesn't need to be defended. My soul holds the Golden Compass - every soul has it - therefore I am sure that I know what I know and I also know that what I know will be ruined by tomorrow when by surprise I must realize that I know nothing. So I will have to start to rebuild my faith again since Faith is a LIVING THING which after being burned to death will rise from its own ashes like the mythical Phoenix to be born anew.................

by the Grace of God.....



.............................................................................to be continued







March / 7 -



"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is to come."



Nothing is like it seems to be... nothing is like it ought to be...

LIFE doesn't seem to be LIVE...



OH HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, HOLY!.... WE CRAWL ON OUR KNEES WAITING

FOR YOU TO COME.... to show the way toward within...

To prove that life is still... PRECIOUS!.....



Feb / 26 -



Sing, sisters and brothers, sing the praises of God!



Psalm 139:1







Sing, it is almost Spring!







I found this picture below, its title is HEART HUG - artist unknown... What a beauty... it shows great humbleness... S/he created something and when it was done, s/he left it... to live its own life... Like a Human God! It moved me deeply... This painting reminds me of the hug between Rama and Hanuman, and Jesus' hugging Jacob... angelic, pure touch of the Holiness of another Human... This is the new title I christened the painting:



HEALING HOLY HEART HUG...







This other painting below, called "Krishna and his beloved Radha" was also created by an unknown artist. Lo another human with godly talent but without

vanity, "had begotten" a beautiful piece of art selflessly, regardless of earthly

or heavenly reward... The page posting both paintings is called:

"LIVING FROM INSIDE, OUT"...







Oh Glorious Dawn of Sacred Soul Songs!

OH ENLIGHTENING SPIRITUAL SPRING!







HOLY LOVE ---- the Grace of God!...



Feb /18-19.







The sacredness of soul-identity is our spiritual fingerprint under the aspect of eternity. This sanctity doesn't depend on the number of user-names a person has, provided that the truthfulness of the soul, the purity of intentions, in sum: the principle of honesty remains intact and transparent. The sincerity of soul-sameness is in defence of the Innocent - whose identity has been corrupted or who may fall under suspicion due to coincidences - from losing credibility.



I will always be searching for the true identity... which is neither plastic nor artificial but genuine, authentic, and it really exists. Before the curtain ="Veil" in the never-ending drama (or dharma...?) in-progress the message and the messenger are alike important. I can't recall the author of the sci fi novel in which plastic creatures and real humans looked mistakably identical... no one could distinguish whether they are real or not, no one knew whether or not talking with a real being or with its perfect imitation. Our earthly existence is maybe just a dream and this reality is not really real only "Maya" but honesty about who we are is the key for being able to touch the face of God.



I grew up in a society and in a family where the air stank of sinful secrets rotting under the carpet of subconscious. I know the feeling of never being able to smell fresh air, and of being always aware of well-kept secrets that were forbidden to reveal. On Prayabout more than anywhere else, we are in the presence of God to show Him our bare souls in the HOPE and FAITH that He accepts us who we are - with LOVE.



(Below is my Ballerina-Tree)







Feb / 1 - Shining like a sunbeam! A gift given without merit... Grace, I didn't deserve... I didn't expect it, didn't earn it... Grace of God...







2010 - Dec / 14 -







My FAITH, granted me by grace, is different from what the prayers posted by most of the people stand for. Until now I believed that love and compassion can convince others of my faith. I got to realize that my LOVE seems to be a personal, human, earthly "attachment" what I should get rid of... But it is wrong! My faith is not attached to any religion, or person, it is merely spiritual. I believe in the Cosmic Beloved as Paramahansa Yogananda called the Supreme Source of All That Is... I was born in a Catholic family, but I didn't follow Christian faith. Now I found the place my heart belongs to, being blessed by a real FAITH, but it is not rooted in the God of the Old or New Testament. God cannot be less than Universal, He must be the ONE and same for every nation, race, religion. My God has no chosen people, unless the whole of humanity. I LOVE Jesus, through him I discovered my "camino" to God. Jesus is the Human-and-Divine Mediator, whose exemplary life lifted me up to the Father. Christo Bless helped me to discern that following the teachings of a sacred soul we can reach the God's grace since every path leads to God, because not dogmas but pure hearts are the vehicle to take us "Home" to the kingdom of Salvation. Christo has been my "guru", my spiritual leader, the living link between Heaven and Earth. Since I found my path, I can connect with God, FINDING HIM WITHIN ME. I don't know why and how but I crystal clearly see it now what Faith in God may really mean. I spend hours with purifying my heart and clarifying the meaning of words, notions, emotions. I love Jesus for his EARTHLY life course and teachings, for the purity of his mind, soul, body and spirit. I love Mother Mary not for being a "virgin" but because of her Sorrowful Motherly Soul. I am unable to call the vengeful God of the Old Testament my "Father". I TRUST IN THE ONE AND ONLY GOD whom I was led by Jesus through the guidance of Christo Bless. I am strongly connected to God but the loving emotions among humans remained as vital for me as they had ever been. I don't wish to live in a sterile sphere, an antibacterial vacuum zone where there is no soil for flowers of feelings, only "unconditional love" can survive in the artificial soil of sweet words, which are but make-believes. I find the peacefulness of Buddhism and Hinduism very appealing. I loved the way Christo forged the most powerful healing ideas into ONE Love-Package of Lessons. I think he ought to have stayed on Prayabout as the Avatar of Love. I miss his teachings and his power to reinforce my inner growth. Since his departure I miss the spiritual catalyst, the inspiration for self-development. Nothing is "impure", or "unfree" about this affection to my Teacher and Healer that I should be ashamed of or freed from. This bond is genuine and natural as no one would have presumed of Yogananda being homosexual or Sri Yukteswar a pedophile because they had been walking hand-in-hand along the Ganges, talking about the Supreme Spirit. Despite my dedication to the Divine I shall continue to deeply honour human relations, in which - for the first time - holy visions and divine intentions can be manifested and unfolded.







FATHER, LET ME FIND THE HIDDEN GLADE WITHIN ME WHERE THE AIR IS SILENT AND STILL UNDER THE FULL OVERHEAD SUN AND THE SHADOW OF MY SOUL MELTS IN THE LIGHT LIKE THE SNOW IN THE HEAT.



Nov / 14 -







"to be one with all, this is the life divine, this is man's heaven. to be one with all that lives, to return in blessed self-forgetfulness into the all of nature, this is the pinnacle of thoughts and joys, this the sacred mountain peak, the place of eternal rest"



(Friedrich Hölderlin: Hyperion)



Diotima remembers... always... through endless time and life, through death and rebirth of loved ones... I still remember the place of grace where divine love, born from bravery, cradled in courage, found its eternal rest.



****************************************************************************************

Nov / 1 - All Saints' Day...







FAITH is for me not a belief in God's doing-giving-granting me this-and-that.. My FAITH is the assurance that by the grace of God I shall be seated into the pure essence of Absolute Love. My faith is not a belief in the "Law of Attraction" or the "Law of Abundance" but a sincere conviction that the Supreme Spirit can penetrate our hearts to fill us up with His holy LOVE. It is the only prayer we ought to pray for receiving mighty guidance to help us in opening up our hearts, to be prepared for God's entering our being, overflowing our lives like waves and tides. It is the greatest gift of the Cosmic Beloved to any of us that turns our lives around to make it a divine bliss despite the circumstances, despite the so-called "human condition". One day this humble prayer for being immersed into the deep sea of Absolute Love will be the Hymn of Humanity!



Sept / 08 - Holy Mary's Day...







About FAITH... Faith cannot be traditionally communicated because of the intimate nature between human and God. This explains the poor vocabulary, that Faith is not eloquent. You can tell everything about the essence of Faith using only 20 words like: Light, Love, Surrender, Grace, Divine, Holy, Heaven, Lord, Shine, Source... etc... because NO communication is needed when someONE is plugged in the Central Energy Field = in the ONE. It is a two-way communication when information between Heaven and Earth flows in both directions: ↑↓ like William Blake Jacob's Ladder painting. There are many videos, books on New Age philosophy, and about the collection of techniques by what intrepid God-hunters can catch and possess the Supernatural in order to become "awakened". Faith is different since it makes you awakened WITHOUT using technique to achieve it. New Age is based on synergy, Faith is rooted in purity. The purpose of Faith is not "haPPineSS" but inner Spiritual Truth.

Christo was mistaken in only one thing. namely in the unimportance of WHO teaches the truth. He declared: "The person is not important, what is said is important!" NO!!!! Pharisees and false prophets prove how wrong it is! There is a saying in Hungary that goes: "bad priests preach water but drink wine." AUTHENTICITY and HONESTY - both are vital! Christo, my beloved Soulbrother, that is why I call you TISZTA (= Pure) because you are an authentic. genuine human being... Without this purity your words would have gone with the wind.... We know examples for that...

But it was also Christo who taught: "Our lives are the message to the world". YES, Christo, that is correct! That is why you are *PUKKA*.

The most important words of faith: "I ACCEPT"... I accept life, death, earth, fate, myself, I accept everything what happened, happens, will happen to me... I ACCEPT THE CREATION OF GOD... Acceptance with gratitude, with a THANK-YOU-LORD...

Faith is a BOND between human and God.



FAITH IS GRACE.



H ♥ O ♥ L ♥ Y ♥ ☼ ♥ M ♥ A ♥ R ♥ Y' ♥ S ♥ ☼ ♥ D ♥ A ♥ Y







Sept / 06 - Without HONESTY there is nothing, neither spirituality nor faith. From the doubts of Apostle Thomas and the "time-serving" (we Hungarians would say: "mantle-turning") views of Saul alias Paul to the Confessions of Augustine, Rousseau, Pascal and to the diary of St. Maria Faustina, each manifests bravery in expressing their queries regardless of worldly positions, roles in religious institutions, regardless of the consequences of daring to bare their deepest soul. In the book of Jacques Ellul's Living Faith I had read these groundbreaking thoughts about the difference between FAITH and BELIEF:



"Belief is quite useful for the smooth functioning of society. Belief is the key to the consensus we look for, the one long proclaimed essential of communal life. Faith works in exactly the opposite way. Faith individualizes; it is always an exclusively personal matter. Faith is the personal relationship with a God who reveals Himself as a person. This God singularizes people, sets them apart, and confers on each an identity comparable to none other. The person who listens to His word is the only one to hear it; he or she is separated from the others, becomes unique, simply because the tie that binds that individual to God is unique, unlike any other, incommunicable, a unique relationship with a unique, absolutely incomparable God. God particularizes, singularizes the person to whom He says, "I call you by your name" (Isa. 45:4). Faith separates people and makes each of them unique. In the Bible "holy" means "separated". To be holy is to be separated from everyone else, to be made unique for the sake of a task that can be accomplished by no one else, which one receives through faith."



This is what makes the operation of a site like PrayAbout very problematic because it is based on "belief" instead of Faith though it is the latter what is crucial to any spiritual development."Belief" needs public prayers in order to receive reassurance, to be convinced that God listens to us and that He is caring, compassionate, loving, "GOoD"... Faith is directly connected to God, hence when a question occurs, the answer flows directly from the source. Faith doesn't ask for anything, it takes everything with gratitude, never doubting the righteousness of divine will.

Faith is grace.







About the song:

It was composed for the memory of 42 victims of an aircraft accident in 2006 January when the airplane of Slovak Air Force crashed in northern Hungary. There was only ONE survivor, Fate...



To be continued...



*************************************************************************************



July / 11 - This weekend I finished the diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska.

On Friday, going home from work - it was unsually late - I looked up to the sky remembering the red balloon flying there a long ago which became a symbol of my sad past leaving me forever. All of a sudden I felt a deep peace, love and that I am protected. I smiled at everyone who came towards me, I was profoundly happy. When I had a seat on the bus, I didn't start to read the book as on other days. Consumed with my thoughts I tried to formulate IN ENGLISH what I felt like, repeating these words: PROTECTED, SUPPORTED, as if a SHIELD was around me. After a while I took the diary with some inner resistance as I knew the worst part was to come. I opened the book on page 634 where I found these words:

"I feel that there is a power which is defending me and protecting me from the blows of the enemy. It guards and defends me. I feel it very distinktly, it is as if I am being shielded by the shadow of His wings."

Indeed..... Maria.......... Love.....







June / 30 - Yesterday was one of those sticky dog days of summer when clothes and brains get melted in the heat. I was caught in the rush hour, sitting on the bus - overcrowded with folks, stinky like a barn and hot as if we were in the devil's bum - trying to read my beloved Saint Maria Faustina's diary. Not quite godly... and THEN, in this noisy hell of heat I read these words:



"September 1, 1937. I saw the Lord Jesus"...



Ohhhhhh................ The heat was gone, the foul-smelling crowd disappeared, I found myself alone in a crystal pool of tears, enchanted mermaid of the Sea of Love.

Maria Faustina Kowalska, my saint sister, you had changed the dog's day into God's Day. Please, don't rest in peace, Sister but stir my soul, penetrating its deepest places with your sacrosanct words!

GOODNESS WILL NEVER DIE - right, Michael?...







June / 16 - Leonard Orr: Breaking the habit of death... After Saint Faustina Kowalska's endless pain and dying which was the essence of her sacred life, it is so cool to read a book about living LIFE fully!!! The effect of this book is like that of a suspended death penalty for someone on death row. It is soothing like flowing with birds! Painless loveful life, VIVAT!!!



To be continued after a joy break...







May / 21 - I spent my birthday at home, in the silence of my soul and the peace of God - no birthcake with candles, no ice-cream, only the diary of Saint Faustina. It was perfect. I realized I am on the right path. I awoke to my strength, recognizing the power of internal autonomy, namely that I don't need to do something I disagree with only for pleasing others. Not because of being stubborn but because I slowly but surely became self-reliant. I am not a prostitute for love, but a free spirit, obediant only to the Cosmic Beloved. I trust me, I trust my holiness. Dear Gene, the Diary of Maria Faustina is in GOoD hands, just as I am in GOD's hands! I know that without the holy gift of blessings I would still be "brilittle" but I also know that blessings - as they are holy and gifts - cannot be demanded, provoked or expected. They are presents given only to the humble and grateful.



To be continued...







May / 20 - "COURAGE MY LOVE" - it is the name of a small store in Kensington Market Toronto. As my birthday is tomorrow, be this title my birthday present of self-assurance to myself. I read an extraordinary book, the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, a Polish nun who was beatified by Pope John Paul II in 1993. Innocent like a child, she still struggled with temptation, setbacks, fear, doubts. My life is a mystery to me, a puzzle, an inexplicable secret. As I progress in reading, I can see my efforts more clearly, in the truth of my actions, even of the misguided ones. Seeing myself in a different light I realize I have to walk an unusual path faithfully to my soul.







These few words are a kiss on my cheeks, wishing happy birthday to me. I will continue my "diary of diary" because Saint Faustina's 800-page book is a spiritual bomb to kill false attitudes and self-flattering misbeliefs. Faustina calls herself a "nothingness", a "wrenched" person, feeble and fallible. The enormous simplicity, humility and courage displayed in her conduct are the virtues I am always seeking.



To be continued....